The 5 Core Qualities

99% of employers look for these qualities. Most behavioral questions map to one of these five areas.

Insight: Many stories demonstrate multiple qualities. That's fine! The key is having multiple stories per quality so you don't run out when asked follow-ups.

1. Leadership & Initiative

What Interviewers Look For

Are you a self-starter? Do you take initiative? Are you proactive, or do you wait for instructions?

Common Questions

  • "Tell me about a time you demonstrated leadership."
  • "Tell me about a time you took initiative."
  • "Tell me about a time you led without formal authority."
  • "Describe a situation where you stepped up."

What It Means

Leadership ≠ Title. You don't need to be a manager or club president. Examples:

  • Organizing cleanup after an accident at an event
  • Noticing a problem and proposing a solution
  • Taking on work beyond your job description
  • Coordinating a team effort without being asked

For Different Levels

  • Junior: Taking initiative on your own work, asking for stretch assignments
  • Mid-level: Leading a feature or small project, mentoring junior engineers
  • Senior: Setting technical direction, driving cross-team initiatives
  • Staff+: Organizational-level leadership, strategic influence

2. Resilience

What Interviewers Look For

How do you react to challenges and failure? Can you bounce back? Do you learn from setbacks?

Common Questions

  • "Tell me about a time you failed."
  • "Tell me about a challenge you overcame."
  • "What's your proudest accomplishment?" (They're interested in what it took to get there)
  • "Describe a time when things didn't go as planned."

Key Insight

When asked about your "proudest accomplishment," interviewers care less about the achievement itself and more about:

  • The obstacles you overcame
  • The resilience you demonstrated
  • What you learned along the way

Complete Real Example: Orchestra Failure Story

Context:

When I was a senior in college, I really wanted to join the highest-level orchestra at the music school - it was the top orchestra that went on international tours every year. This was my last chance to get in because I was a rising senior.

The Failure:

I practiced super hard on the violin, went into my auditions, gave it my all - and unfortunately wasn't selected. I was really upset for about a week and thought that was that.

The Opportunity:

A week later, I got a call from the director telling me that although the violin auditions were extremely competitive, they actually had a need for more violists (a different instrument). He said if I was willing to study the viola over the summer, they'd give me another chance to re-audition in the fall for the viola section.

Action (60% of story):

I absolutely jumped on the opportunity. For the next few months, I:

  • Hired a viola teacher
  • Spent all my days practicing, trying to learn how to read the music (it's like reading a different language - it's in a different clef)
  • Practiced so much that even on a family vacation in Maine, I was practicing in the Airbnb - my parents thought it was crazy
  • Dedicated every day to mastering this new instrument

Result:

By the end of the summer, I re-auditioned and was fortunate to get accepted into the orchestra. I ended up going on tour in Norway through five different cities, and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

Learning:

Sometimes opportunities come up serendipitously. It helps to have an open mind when it comes to failure and just be prepared for new opportunities that you may not have expected initially. The failure wasn't the end - it was a doorway to something unexpected.

Red Flags to Avoid

  • ❌ Blaming others for your failure
  • ❌ Not showing any learning or growth
  • ❌ Choosing failures that show poor judgment (e.g., "I didn't write tests and got bugs")
  • ✅ Choose failures where your initial reasoning was sound but circumstances changed

3. Teamwork

What Interviewers Look For

Can you work effectively with others? Do you contribute to team success? Can you handle different perspectives?

Common Questions

  • "Tell me about a time you worked in a team."
  • "Describe a collaborative project."
  • "Tell me about bringing together people with different backgrounds."
  • "How do you handle team dynamics?"

Nuanced Versions

These can also test leadership:

  • "Tell me about bringing together a group of people you didn't know."
  • "Describe working with people from disparate backgrounds to achieve a common goal."

What to Highlight

  • How you understood different viewpoints
  • How you resolved disagreements
  • How you ensured everyone could contribute
  • How you maintained team morale
  • How you balanced individual and team needs

4. Influence & Persuasion

What Interviewers Look For

Can you convince others? Can you get buy-in for your ideas? Do you know when to push and when to back down?

Common Questions

  • "Tell me about a time you had to influence someone."
  • "Describe convincing a group of people of a goal."
  • "Tell me about convincing someone more senior who disagreed with you."
  • "How do you get buy-in for technical decisions?"

Increasing Difficulty

  • Easy: Influencing peers
  • Medium: Influencing senior people
  • Hard: Influencing senior people who disagree with you
  • Expert: Influencing without formal authority across teams

What Demonstrates Strong Influence

  • Gathering data to support your position
  • Understanding the other person's motivations and constraints
  • Finding win-win solutions
  • Choosing the right communication channel (written vs. in-person)
  • Being respectful while standing firm on principles

Example Approach

1. Seek to understand first - ask questions about their perspective

2. Gather objective data - proof of concepts, metrics, user research

3. Reframe in terms they value - align your goal with their priorities

4. Find compromise - create win-win outcomes

5. Integrity & Ethical Decision-Making

What Interviewers Look For

Do you do the right thing even when no one is watching? Can you navigate ethical gray areas? Will you raise concerns when needed?

Common Questions

  • "Tell me about a time you ran into a moral or ethical conflict at work."
  • "Describe a time you saw a coworker doing something unethical."
  • "What would you do if you saw misconduct?"

The Challenge

You need to balance:

  • Not being a tattletale
  • Not turning a blind eye to serious issues
  • Being professional and fair
  • Focusing on systemic fixes, not just punishment

Complete Real Example: UPS Integrity Story

Context:

The summer of my freshman year, I worked at a UPS package facility where we processed packages and loaded them into the backs of tractor trailer trucks. It was a super grueling job - manual labor, every day my back would be hurting, and for 8 hours straight with a few breaks, we would be throwing bags into the back of trucks.

The Ethical Conflict:

This was an hourly wage job, so we had to punch in and punch out. About halfway through the summer, I noticed that one of my colleagues was actually punching in and punching out a little bit early during the day, then delaying his punch out time so that he basically would get an extra hour or two hours of pay every single day.

My Initial Thinking:

It didn't seem like a big deal to me at the time because what's an extra hour really? It's just a minimum wage job, so it didn't feel like something that required escalating to a manager or making a big deal about it. Plus, I didn't want to get on his bad side.

The Reflection:

As I thought about it a little bit more and brought it up with my older brother, he mentioned something that really struck me: "It's really the little things that define who we are. It's how we react when people aren't watching, and it's the little things that seem insignificant that actually reflect the most about our character."

Action:

When I thought about that, I realized this wasn't really something that I felt comfortable letting slip by. So I brought it up with the manager. I told him that look, I don't want this person to get in any trouble, but I just want to raise this to you that I've been noticing that this has been happening.

Result:

The manager obviously had to speak with that person. They didn't end up losing their job thankfully, but the company later then realized they needed to implement a better timekeeping system that was less manual.

Learning:

The little things are the most important when it comes to your character because it's the small things, not the big things that make a huge splash or noise - it's the little things that people don't see that actually define who you are as a person. How you react when no one is watching reveals your true character.

Best Practices

  • Focus on the impact on the organization, not personal vendettas
  • Frame issues as process problems when possible
  • Be measured - understand context before escalating
  • Show you considered the full implications

Preparing Your Arsenal

How Many Stories Do You Need?

Minimum: 2 stories per quality = 10 total stories

Why 2?

  • You might use one story for a leadership question
  • Then get a follow-up asking about influencing people
  • If that story also covers influence, you need backup stories

Story Selection Criteria

Rate your stories on three axes:

  • Personal Involvement: Were you central to the story?
  • Business Impact: Did it make a measurable difference?
  • Scope: Appropriate for your level?

Common Pitfall

Don't just list things you were casually involved in. Choose stories where:

  • You drove the outcome
  • You can speak to specific actions you took
  • The impact is clear

Expert Insights from Meta/Facebook Hiring Managers

Your Stories Are Probably Better Than You Think

According to Austin McDonald, former Meta Engineering Manager who conducted 200+ behavioral interviews:

"Almost every person I've done coaching sessions with - I can say that it is almost always a case that your stories are more interesting than you think they are. Please don't undersell your own experience or think that you're not ready for that next level job or that next level company because of what you've done in the past. There's probably really great nuggets that you need to talk about."

Why Companies Use These Five Qualities

Companies use structured approaches to assess candidates because:

  • Scientifically proven: Psychology studies show structured interviewing reduces bias
  • Predictive: Past performance predicts future results with people
  • Level assessment: The scope of your actions shows what level you operate at
  • Signal extraction: Interviewers are trained to extract specific signals from your responses

How Interviewers Evaluate Your Stories

Interviewers are looking for repeatable actions - things you did that you can take to their company:

  • If you gathered data → shows you use data to make decisions
  • If you talked to stakeholders → shows you collaborate
  • If you were empathetic → shows emotional intelligence
  • If you took initiative → shows leadership potential

These are the signals they're evaluating. Make sure your stories clearly show these actions.

Common Mistakes When Choosing Stories

Mistake 1: Thinking You Need "Epic" Stories

Reality: Leadership doesn't require a formal title. Great stories can be small:

  • Organizing cleanup after an accident at an event
  • Noticing a problem in a process and proposing a fix
  • Helping coordinate team efforts without being asked
  • Taking on a task that wasn't your job but needed doing

Mistake 2: Only Thinking About Work

Reality: Great stories come from all areas of life:

  • School projects and group work
  • Volunteer work and community involvement
  • Personal projects and hobbies
  • Everyday situations where you stepped up

Mistake 3: Not Having Backups

The Problem: You use one story for leadership, then get asked about influence - and that same story also covers influence. Now you're out of stories.

The Fix: Have 2-3 stories per quality. Stories can demonstrate multiple qualities, but you need backups.

Remember: Think smaller! Great stories don't need to be epic. Sometimes the most compelling examples come from everyday situations where you stepped up.
Expert Tip: Rate your stories on three axes: Personal Involvement (were you central?), Business Impact (did it matter?), and Scope (appropriate for your level?). Choose stories that score high on all three.